In Our Post-Factual World, Kayfabe is King

by Carson Starkey At some point in the not-so-distant future, The Nation of Domination will “interrupt” a Donald Trump rally/speech. They will appear suddenly in a doorway, bathed in spotlights, wielding baseball bats, chains, and tire irons. They will begin marching towards the main stage, advancing on scattered groups of terrified, hysterical, elderly white Fox…

Kleiner Mann Joe Blue Collar, Was Nun?: The Way Forward for Those Who Don’t Care About The Heritage Foundation’s Agenda

What rankles self-proclaimed grown up conservatives about Trump is that he’s giving away the inside game by verifying an uncomfortable suspicion that Heritage Foundation “scholars” have always attempted to suppress during campaigns. That is, most self-proclaimed conservative voters don’t care about the Ayn Rand agenda. While abolishing taxation, dissolving social insurance, and building Pax Americana are important causes to people who work at The Wall Street Journal, all that Jane or Joe Blue Collar care about relates to making financial ends meet. Which makes conservative aristocrats angry bordering on hysterical.

Marco Rubio’s Public Statement on Suspending His Presidential Campaign

By Carson Starkey, Chief Speechwriter for Senator Marco Rubio Good evening, I am here tonight to announce that I am suspending my presidential campaign effective immediately. Pause for widespread, slowly cascading applause. After many hours of consultation with Chamber of Commerce lobbyists, American Enterprise Institute board members, Heritage Foundation scholars, Fox News producers, The Honorable…

Reckless Courage: The “Respectable” Conservative Plot to Cheat Aggressively

by Carson Starkey Sweet White English-Speaking NASCAR-Lovin’ Baby Jesus, what are conservative big whigs thinking when they openly brag about stopping Trump? Let’s proceed under the notion that you’re not fully aware of the Republican leadership’s plan to deny Donald Trump their party’s presidential nomination as outlined in the NYT article “Inside the Republican Party’s…