Megyn Kelly and NBC Are Officially Splitting Ways

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Graft Game Strong

There was no way of seeing this coming:

After weeks of negotiations, former Today co-host Megyn Kelly is officially leaving NBC — and will be paid out the remainder of her three-year, $69 million contract, CNN reports. In a Friday statement, the network said, “The parties have resolved their differences, and Megyn Kelly is no longer an employee of NBC.”

For the uninitiated, Megyn Kelly is terrible but she has made a killing as a professional Becky. From insisting to all the kiddies that Santa Claus and Jesus are white, to using her gigantic platform to lob softballs to Vladimir Putin, to cozying up to Sandy Hook truther Alex Jones, to asking homosexual guests when they “became gay,” to presenting body-shaming and ridicule from men as an effective weight loss strategy, to referring to Michelle Obama as “Obama’s Baby Mama,” to using Mike Fuhrman as her go-to guest every time a cop assaulted or killed a black citizen, to telling terrified white people that the New Black Panthers were stealing elections from Republicans, Megyn Kelly has a long record of shittiness at Fox News and NBC. And what did Kelly do to get fired at NBC? She defended every white American’s God-given right to dress in blackface.

Kelly’s tenure at NBC wasn’t completely without promise. Right before she signed with the network, she captured the nation’s attention when she was “tough” on Trump and was subjected to his ridiculed by the misogynistic candidate during the 2016 GOP primaries. So I guess you can’t be too hard on NBC thinking Kelly would shift away from her folksy brand of casual racism once she took on the roll of Serious Journalist™ (don’t hold me to this, because I told really believe it), but did they need to give her $30 million to walk away from the network?

NBC isn’t the first company to cut fat severance checks to terrible people, and they won’t be the last. I’m all for labor having the edge when it comes to contract negotiations, but you’d think these companies would learn to hire lawyers to write more favorable employment contracts.

On the bright side, the Megyn Kelly saga further supports my Mainstream Success for Conservative Grafters Formula:

  1. Rise to prominence by being outspokenly bigoted and well dressed in conservative spaces.
  2. Demonstrate your seriousness by advocating for the most moderate economic positions, challenging a long-tailed and low-hanging tenant of nonsensical conservative dogma (the freedom of powerful men to harass women, the duty of elites to contribute to society in an equitably way, the right of common people to be comfortable, the utility of a useful social safety net, etc).
  3. Gracefully allow yourself to take some heat from the right. Feel free to employ healthy doses of Both Siderism to buffer your conservative bona fides.
  4. Acquire a reputation as Serious Journalist among journalistic hacks like Andrew Sullivan, Chris Cillizza, Chris Cuomo, Jake Tapper, Andrea Mitchell, etc.
  5. Sign fat contract as a host on a broadcast network or opinion columnist at the New York Times.

Profit forever by saying whatever you want because you want because you’ve now earned lifetime tenure being Professionally Wrong about everything.

On a final note, Megan Kelly having a law degree is yet another argument against law school and its associated profession.

 

Agreeing Loudly is proud to help its contributors’ gain compensation for their labor. Please consider helping kuyaalb by supporting his Patreon campaign.

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