This Year’s Presidential Election, Some Say, Is Indistinguishable From a Student Body President Election

Former high school teacher Jim McAllister (seen above) cannot help but marvel at the similarities between this year’s Presidential Election and just about every student body President election he ever had the misfortune to preside over.

New York City–Jim McAllister, a director at the American Museum for Natural History, who for over a decade, taught social studies at a suburban high school near Omaha, NE, cannot help but see the stunning similarities between this year’s Presidential Election and the dozen or so student body President elections he had to preside over from the late 80’s until the late 90’s. Recalling the last such election, which cost Mr. McAllister his job due to election improprieties, he cannot help but marvel at the media analyzing and covering to ridiculous detail, every stupid utterance and ridiculous promise from shock-jock candidate Donald Trump, who in Mr. McAllister’s eyes, is clearly doing this as a publicity stunt, like as advertisement for his next reality T.V. show. “It’s not unlike when Tammy ran as a third candidate and promised to disband student government, and got outrageous cheers for it”, McAllister remembered. “I may have extremely disliked Tracy Flick, who had an insufferable air of self-importance, but at least she was prepared and took it seriously. I cannot help but see the diligent preparation that Secretary Clinton made the other night in delivering an address only to be completely ignored by the media, who instead covered an empty chair, awaiting the arrival of Donald Trump and whatever crazy things he was sure to make up on the spot.”

It is not lost on McAllister how much the public seems to dislike Hillary Clinton, no matter how hard she tries. Reflecting back on his own dislike of Tracy Flick, who lost a Senate Republican primary last year to Ben Sasse, current U.S. Senator representing the state of Nebraska, whose close campaign against popular happy-go-lucky school jock, Paul Metzler, ultimately prevailed despite McAllister being annoyed at Flick’s dirty-tricks campaign. “I guess this is the political culture that Nixon started, and that’s why he has to get such low marks in history. I think it’s pretty clear that I see a lot of Tracy Flick in Hillary, but the electorate should strongly consider the fact that Donald Trump, is Metzler without any inherit likability, the Government-denying hatred of Tammy, and also the dirty-tricks of Flick all rolled into one”, McAllister pondered.

“I remember thinking during that last student body President election, ‘is this really all this school can produce?'”


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