by Troy M. Olson (with Harrison J. Potter excerpts from the SophistiCat Journal)
Editorial Note: for optimal enjoyment, read out-loud in your best Sarah Koenig impression, while listening to this.
Last year, a young Millennial couple packed up everything they owned into a Penske truck, gave away the rest, and drove halfway across the country to move to New York City. This is the first in a series of posts about that journey.
Part One – the Kidnapping of Harry Potter, the Cat (not the Wizard)
Harrison J. Potter:
It all started when my caretakers brought me boxes. I appreciated the gesture. I love boxes. But then, something changed. They started packing things up, a little at a time. And then more. I thought, well it has been awhile since my stuff has been cleaned, and new pillows….would be nice. And then one day, it escalated. Everything went in the boxes. My books. My pillow on the bed. My pillows under the bed. The entire bed itself. The pillow on the chair on the way to the other bed. It was madness.
I knew they had been fighting, the balding one had been gone for a few days, and food source had been busy scanning papers, and was particularly upset when I tried to perform my usual accounting work. They demanded I pose for a photograph, which normally I have no problem with, but I also don’t like being told what to do…I was torn. Ultimately I chose to pose for the photograph, but I waited to cooperate for like 15 minutes. I don’t want them to think they are in charge.
There was a lot of talk about this… New City. But I never consented to any of this. This was all happening so fast. I had so many worries. Such as, would my caretakers be able to find my favorite organic cat food and single malt whiskey (two ice cubes)? Would I still be able to keep an eye on the squirrel revolution down below from my office? I was concerned about the logistics. And what about my council? They had been haphazardly separated, divided, and leaderless! I was in a panic.
Then, it got worse. They took me into a giant yellow box on wheels, and told me this was my new home for a couple of days. Do they even know me? I enjoy a car ride just as much as the next SophistiCat, but not nearly as much as those easily entertained Dogs. But multiple days, in a yellow box? Are these human days? Because that’s like, a couple of weeks for me.
They put only one pillow in the middle for me to sleep. And no keyboard! And we’re leaving in the dead of night because the balding one and food source had seriously overestimated their packing abilities. What’s a cat to do… I may not survive this. Hopefully they didn’t skimp on the food like they did on the pillows.
Until next time,
Still to come…