by Allan Branstiter
The Associated Press released a video of America’s favorite idiot hitting the campaign trail on behalf of this under-performing wet noodle of a brother. I know a lot of liberals still really hate Dubya, but I’ve got a special place in my heart for this affable war criminal. I mean, really – watch him work this room in South Carolina:
Don’t you miss this guy? George W. Bush is everything his brother is not: engaging, approachable, self-deprecating (in a good way), and comfortable. Liberals have underestimated this guy’s political savvy to their own detriment for years, but I love the guy and his late-life painting hobby to pieces.
Can Dubs save Jeb(!) from a bloodbath in South Carolina at the hands of Trump and Cruz? This #JebNoFilter video doesn’t give me much hope:
Who’s advising this guy? It’s like someone made a check-list of things they think Millennials are into. Coffee? Check. Minimalist logo? Check. Mark Zuckerburg? Check. Hashtag? Check. Hoodie? Check. Also, how can we trust a guy who can’t figure out a zipper with the presidency?
Yeah, I know my boy G-Dub is so dumb that he was nearly assassinated by a pretzel. But he made it look so bad-ass in the process! And who among us ISN’T being slowly killed by the garbage we’re constantly shoving down our gullets? Don’t you miss the guy?
I know I do. We could all learn a thing or two from George W. Bush. Especially Jeb…
…and at least he didn’t say “We’re all Africans.”